Aw honey, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. But you are not alone, I’ve been there and done that. It was actually a really difficult time for me because he was married.
Feeling emotions isn’t a sin. Sometimes they just happen. It’s what the emotions can lead to that can be sinful.
Thank God I talked to my mom and his wife, who was the youth counselor for the girls and they helped me a lot. I had to kinda, you know - put away my shame in order to get it out and help myself through it. So it took some time for me to talk about it but I did, and it was the best thing. It helped create a healthier environment for me because they knew and were much more careful around me. She told her husband obviously, which was the point, and after being more aware the emotions started subsiding and it just grew into a strong healthy friendship for all of us.
I still work closely with him now, it’s been 8 years!
So just know that your heart is in the right place, stay strong and do your best to never be alone with him and to seek God first. But honestly, the best thing you can do is talk to his wife if he’s married, or talk to your youth counselor if he isn’t. Do not talk with him alone unless you really trust him and know he’s the real deal. If not, or if you’re too embarrassed, then talk to your pastor’s wife or an adult that you trust will help pray with you and can talk to him for you. Once they know, it’s easier to handle. Otherwise it’s something that can grow into you not coming to youth group, or you getting hurt, or crying at home all the time because the emotions are so strong etc.
Part 1) I am trying hard to follow The Lord and surrender myself to him, but I actually have a confession to make and that confession is that I was recently in a relationship with someone the same gender as me I know this is considered awful in most Christian eyes but I truthfully loved my partner but I broke up with her because of the verse found under Corinthians 6:9 and decided that if I really loved her then I would not condemn her through my actions So I left her and decided to start anew.
You know, one of the hardest things for me is dealing with homosexuality. Not because of any kind of judgment, but because I understand the burden that has been placed on your life. I know what it’s like to be so intricately bound to something that is naturally who you are. It’s hard trying understand how to live for God when it feels like one is everything He rejects at the very foundation. But you’ve chosen to believe God instead of yourself and that won’t just bless your life, it will heal it and you will find your purpose and fulfilment in Him. Because the truth is that God is here to mould us, and it’s that process that will give our life new breath and meaning.
You have made the best decision of your life and I know it’s been made under the direction of the Holy Spirit. Because there is no way you could have done this alone. God is the one who convicts us and shows us what love actually means. So be sure that God is with you. He is so close to you that he’s giving you the strength to do what seemed impossible before. And I admire your love for this person. Because that is real love. Sacrifice. And I can’t imagine how much it hurts right now… but it is worth it.
You are walking in obedience instead of personal will, and that in itself will bring blessings on your life. But a christian’s life is marked by sacrifices as well as blessings. To understand that is to understand God. He himself had to sacrifice his life.
I am going to be completely honest with you. The struggle will never just disappear. But it will get easier! The closer you get to God, the more he will change your mind and your heart. The things that you use to love will be replaced by what he loves and you won’t just receive eternal life, you’ll receive fulfilment. God is going to be your strength and you will have a full and love filled life. Don’t doubt it. Gods promises are for you too.
Now - Homosexuality is not a disease, it’s not a demon, it’s not unnatural. It’s exactly that. Natural. But like I said once, natural isn’t divine. Nature as we know it here on earth is not what God intended from the beginning.So it’s not a justification for our desires. When man fell in the garden of Eden, God’s plan for his creation was veered off it’s path. His perfect design was corrupted by sin and as people multiplied so did it. The Bible says that this world is now under the curse of sin - so nature is also corrupted. Sexuality is in our nature.
Biblically, we know that homosexuality is not God’s plan. But Animals, people, genetics (cancer/down syndrome etc), this planet (global warming/entropy etc), is no longer what it was intended to be because sin has changed it for the worse. We were meant to be eternal and perfect, just like this world was. It’s no longer that and that is why one needs the Holy Spirit to understand what’s right. Not our own natural understanding. We need God as a guide. And you my dear are truly a brave one for choosing God. You’re on the right path, don’t give up.
If you need anything just message me again I would love to know how it’s going. I’ll be praying for you.
Take hope in the fact that God promised to continue his work within us, until it is finally finished. (Philippians 1:6)
We are called to minister to others, it’s an important part of a christian’s life! Many times we get to do it through friendships with those who are lost and need hope, but only if we are strong enough to resist these temptations ourselves.
So, first, talk to your friend, ask her how her life is, and listen. If you have already done that then you know the things she’s doing are harmful and are in response to pain and anger. Try inviting her to church, tell her about Christ and don’t be ashamed. Tell her there is hope for a bright future. Don’t let that opportunity slip by, because we are called to be a light in the darkness of others. Those that are hurting themselves by substance abuse are in need of a lot of love.
With that said, if you do talk to her in love and without judgment but she decides to keep doing what she’s doing then it’s best to leave your friendship aside. I’m not saying completely cut her off, but keep it as a cordial acquaintance. I know it’s hard, but you’re right to be concerned. You’re in a transitional period of your life and God tells us to be wary of friendships with those who can influence us for the worst. God will work with her if you keep praying, and maybe one day she will come to Jesus and your friendship will be restored. But until then:
“Walk with the wise and become wise;
associate with fools and get in trouble.” - Proverbs 13:20
Don’t befriend angry people
or associate with hot-tempered people,
25 or you will learn to be like them
and endanger your soul. - Proverbs 22:24,25
Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” - 1 Corinthians 15:30
So if she is influencing you negatively, then you have to distance yourself from her.
One of my best friends growing up was my own brother, he from a very early age rejected God. He would go to church because he had to, but once he turned 14 he stayed home and never went again. As we grew up, our differences began to cause problems. Sometimes I would compromise my own faith to be with him and hang out because we loved the same things. In high school he began to drink and party and have sex, and I found myself more alone than before. Because I couldn’t and wouldn’t follow his/our group of friends and they were the only ones I had made.
I had to make a choice, and I chose Jesus, and to this day I have yet to regret it. My brother and I are very cordial towards each other, and I still love him, but we don’t have an intimate relationship as friends anymore because it was like mixing oil with water. And you know what? I made new and amazing friends who supported and understood me on my level. I could talk to them about God and what I wanted to do in church. When I was feeling alone they prayed with me, and to this day they honour and respect me. They are friends who share my burdens as well as my triumphs and who exalt God above all.
Those are the friends that you should seek and that God will give you. And you will see the difference that friends make in your life.
I don’t know where I would be without mine. There have been times where I wanted to just throw in the towel, and they picked me up, dusted me off, and reminded me to hang on as they continued to walk with me.
As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend. - Proverbs 27:17
When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. - Romans 1:12
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11
I went as far to tell my friends I was a satanist. I wasn’t, I never did anything weird associated with that, just used that label. I know God is forgiving but I can’t help but fear I’m lost in his eyes. I have grown up now (pt2)
I’ve begged for forgiveness but I still don’t feel right. I used to feel this warmth in my heart when I prayed and It’s just not the same now. Do you think it’s too late for me? I really need help, this is literally killing me inside. (Last part)
You are not the first, nor will you be the last teenager, young adult, adult, senior, elder, teacher, missionary, pastor, senior pastor etc. to fall into trends and fads that deny their faith.
Some of them aren’t as noticeable as others, but they have the same end: they deny Jesus; and allow us to conform to fads or common thinking.
One of the greatest disciples in the Bible, Peter, denied Jesus 3 times in the midst of a trend. What trend was that? People calling for Jesus’s death. Everyone was so riled up to crucify him that Peter felt like he was stuck between Jesus and what everyone wanted. And he chose to fit in. To not stand out.
When Jesus needed someone to stand for him, Peter abandoned his faith. And many times, we find ourselves in those same situations. We trade in Jesus for safety. To fit in. To do what we want. It could be for 10 minutes or it could be for 10 years, but if we repent (ask for forgiveness and turn from our wrong doing) Jesus is LOVE and is ready to forgive!
There is nothing in this world that can separate you from the love of Jesus. [x]
Jesus knows us. What we do, or are going to do, isn’t a surprise. He knew Peter would deny him before Peter had even done it! And yet he still loved Peter.
What does this tell us? It tells us that God knows every action we are going to take. Every step, every word that we utter, he knows it before it is said. And instead of making Jesus angry or making him ashamed or make him turn away from saving us, JESUS HAD MERCY ON US. Jesus CARED. And so Jesus died so that all these wrongs could be made right through him.
[Now, remember - this doesn’t grant us freedom to abuse God’s mercy. We should love God and obey him as a response to his this amazing grace.]
So dear friend, Jesus knew we needed saving from our behaviours, from our thoughts and our actions, and most of all - From our PAST. And that is why he came to die for us, because we needed it.
He loves you more than you have yet to understand. Don’t let guilt and fear separate you from Him.
I know that feeling you have.
When I was younger, I was so angry with God that I told him that I was going to just follow Satan. I remember that very night, and I will never forget it as long as I live. The night I let my pain get in the way of my judgment. But God didn’t let me sabotage myself for too long, he pulled me in with his love by reminding me who I was. Even when I hardened my heart and didn’t want to listen, he guided me back to him in the end. He reminded me I was his daughter. And that no one could take away from him what was his.
The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never lose it or perish throughout the ages. [To all eternity they shall never by any means be destroyed.] And no one is able to snatch them out of My hand. My Father, Who has given them to Me, is greater and mightier than all [else]; and no one is able to snatch [them] out of the Father’s hand.
I and the Father are One. -DEUTERONOMY 30
But I had to learn to repent, and be humble, and let go of the thoughts that were not God’s thoughts. So even though I couldn’t feel God with me because of all my shame, I had to step out in faith to believe that his promises to be with me, to forgive me, to save me, were TRUE.
And that faith changed EVERYTHING.
You see - Gods thoughts for you are not the ones you are holding on to. He has already forgiven you. But your emotions on the matter, all this guilt, is keeping you from seeing how God really feels. The enemy will come whisper doubt into your ear, but hold on to God’s promises and don’t be swayed by what you think.
So I will tell you what God says:
2 If at that time you … return to the Lord your God, and if you obey with all your heart and all your soul all the commands I have given you today, 3 then theLord your God will restore your fortunes. He will have mercy on you and gather you back from all the nations where he has scattered you. 4 Even though you are banished to the ends of the earth, the Lord your God will gather you from there and bring you back again. 5 The Lord your God will return you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will possess that land again. Then he will make you even more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors!
6 “The Lord your God will change your heart[a] and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live! 7
God loves you. He has forgiven you. If you have turned back to God after your time astray, he will restore you. He will fix all those scattered pieces and he will give you the land you should have - meaning he will give you your inheritance. Which is heaven. He will help change your heart, you don’t have to go at it alone. But all you have to do is have faith, and believe that he has already done it. He wants you to be sure of your salvation. And he wants you to get up in boldness and act as if your God is able to do the impossible. Like forgive what you have yet been able to forgive of yourself. And begin healing.
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!
Cheer up, your walk with God as just begun. And I am here if you need to talk.
Friend, God knows how to make up for years you’ve lost in your life. No, you can’t relive your childhood, but God can make the rest of your life so rewarding, so fulfilling that you don’t even miss what didn’t happen in the past. You may feel like you wasted years in a relationship that didn’t work out. But God can bring somebody into your life so great, so fun, so friendly, so attractive that you don’t even remember the years that you’ve lost. You may have spent years on a job that turned out to be a dead end. You were working your way to the top; things didn’t turn out like you had hoped, and now it looks like there’s a big waste of time. You may not see how you could ever get to where you want to be, but don’t believe those lies. God knows how to make up for lost time. God can accelerate things. God can bring opportunities back across your path that you missed that will thrust you years ahead. It may not have happened the first time, but God will always give you another chance. He’ll make up for the lost time and bring you out better and stronger than ever before!
Anything that isn’t love, is lust.
That’s a pretty black and white answer there isn’t it?
Even I get a little hard headed about it sometimes but then I remember who I’m serving and that He is three times holy, (that’s really holy) and there isn’t really wiggle room. He’s always very clear.
But let’s break it down a bit in order to really understand it.
Lust is defined as - "A very strong sexual desire."
It’s something we choose to do when we are driven by what we want.
- Lust can be looking down a girls shirt, looking at a boys boot-ay as he walks by, or yes, feeling up your girlfriend in the back of a car. It’s a natural response. Lust is innate in us because our bodies are driven by what they want. But just because it’s natural, doesn’t mean it’s meant for us. Don’t get that confused. Remember, we were meant to be divine. Divine just means ‘like God’. We were created in his image, but were corrupted by the nature of this world when we sinned. Once we accept God into our lives, we are meant to, once again, be extensions of Him.
And that’s the battle! We have our nature (our bodies of flesh that just want to be happy) that is in constant conflict with the divine spirit inside of us that is seeking a relationship with God.
How do we ‘do’ lust?
Well, lust might be driven upon us by another, like her getting on top of you, or by a habit - like always looking at a girls behind as she walks by, but it’s a deliberate action we decided to take part in. It’s pleasurable, we enjoy it, and it gratifies us. We may claim that we are doing ‘nothing wrong’, because it makes us happy, or ‘everyone does - and it’s socially ok as long as we aren’t hurting anyone’, but we are hurting someone, we are hurting ourselves. And the other person as well. We are replacing God’s will in us with our own, and damaging our hearts in the process.
So what if I don’t want to do lust? What the heck is Love then?
The Bible defines love in a beautiful scripture in 1 Corinthians:
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance….
There is a clear difference between the two isn’t there?
While lust is driven by desire and attraction, love is driven by good and selflessness. Now I am not saying that the emotions involved in both don’t intersect somewhere along the line - they DO, and that’s what makes it so dangerous! Because we may be trying to love someone and act lustfully!
We need to learn about both in order to distinguish each, and also in order to learn how to really love someone.
SO then - Love is not unjust, meaning that love does what is right regardless of what one may want to do! And then rejoices about it! So it doesn’t just have patience for the wedding day, it’s happy that it’s waiting, it’s not frustrated by doing good.
It is patient and kind meaning that there is respect, that it honours the other. It’s mindful and gentle, not agitated or angry when it doesn’t get its way. It isn’t proud or rude so it’s not selfish and puts another before itself.
So what am I saying? Well I am saying that lust is easy to do.
And Love takes work and commitment and sacrifice and patience.
If you love this girl, you need to put her before yourself. Which means that you have to put her physical and most importantly, spiritual welfare, before your own desirers. What you are doing is very dangerous, because you’re putting yourself in the way of temptation where things can go wrong very quickly. Not only are you gambling with your salvation, you are gambling with hers. And that my dear brother, is not love. That is lust. Because you are not being just.
I know it’s hard, believe me, I have been there and that is why I am telling you this now. When we are really attracted to someone, it’s so easy to just let go and do the thing. All the things. But lust is not worth it, LOVE is worth it. C:
When was the last time you declared “I can” out loud? It’s not something people think to do every day. In fact, most people tend to magnify their limitations. They focus on their shortcomings. But scripture makes it plain: all things are possible to those who believe. That’s right! It is possible to see your dreams fulfilled. It is possible to overcome that obstacle. It is possible to climb to new heights. It is possible to embrace your destiny. You may not know how it will all take place. You may not have a plan, but all you have to know is that if God said you can…you can!
Today, why don’t you begin to open yourself up to possibilities in your future by simply declaring this verse, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength?” At the stoplight, when you’re waiting in line, any time you have a second just quote this verse to yourself again. Let it sink down deeply into your heart. As you do, His word will transform you. Faith will rise up in your heart and will boldly embrace the blessings that He has in store for you!